Category:

INTRODUCTION

THE PROBLEM, THE SOLUTION, AND THE TORTOISE

Have you heard these phrases lately?

"You're wrong."

"How could you believe that?"

"Anyone with intelligence would never think that."

"Why would you vote for that person?"

"I think that's just stupid."

"The [political group] is the biggest threat to our country."

"Those people are just wrong!"

"We need to take back our country."

"How could they ever come to that conclusion?"

"Those people don't use their brains—they just follow blindly!"

The fact that you've probably heard these phrases or a variation of them speaks to a continued and growing problem in the world today: how divided people are on the big topics of politics, race, immigration, and so many others. It also speaks to how divided we are on topics such as what movie is the best, who is the best golfer of all time, and why all bald men are so handsome (there is no debate on that one...ha!). The truth is that we're not just divided but also growing more and more disrespectful toward each other, and it doesn't have to be that way.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

Have you noticed that we live in a time of extreme polarization on many fronts? Some might even argue that we are beyond polarization and are now into outright hostility and violence. Pew Research Center's findings sketch a bleak image: an increasing number of people in the United States view those on the opposite political side as lazy, immoral, closed-minded, dishonest, and unintelligent. This toxic assumption gnaws away at our common ground, deepening the abyss of misunderstanding. It's a global concern, no longer confined within the borders of any one nation. Not only are we facing hostilities between political parties globally, but we are also facing serious disagreements that are negatively impacting people's lives and worse.

Consider the grim report card from the United Nations, which provides a stark revelation about our global community's state. Thousands of innocent lives have been lost in the world's most gruesome conflicts, with civilians—women and children—often paying the heaviest price. These aren't mere numbers; they're echoes of shattered homes, dreams turned to dust, and the tragic human toll our inability to bridge our differences incurs.

An astounding 25 percent of the world's population dwells in regions scarred by serious conflicts. Visualize this: every fourth person you encounter potentially bears invisible wounds of a conflict they never wished for. And this trauma isn't confined to the distant past—in recent years, over 80 million individuals were compelled to abandon their homes due to conflict, violence, and human rights abuses. Again, these aren't just numbers; they're a deafening plea for us to rise, to evolve, to be better.

What's also baffling is that small pockets of people want to create conflict so that they can have power over others, and they are willing to do anything it takes to sow seeds of discord to pit person against person and group against group. However, we're not powerless in the face of all of this. The work of respectful disagreement is one strategy of many to deflate the attacks against our dehumanization and the dehumanization of others. We have lost touch (if we ever had it) with the humanity in each other. We continue to see each other as objects to be overtaken and not people to be valued and respected.

One resounding issue is people who agree to disagree but still do it disrespectfully. Respectful disagreement is not about saying all the right things, but rather speaking from the right heart!

THE FOCUS OF THIS BOOK

This book is certainly not making the claim that respect alone can solve the world's biggest problems. But respect on an interpersonal level, in our day-to-day lives, can plant seeds of change in the hearts of those we encounter. Yes, there are many global examples of disrespectfully disagreeing, but I want to focus on the issues that you face directly with others at home, on your team, at work, and in your communities.